i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
