Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
