I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
