He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
