I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
