hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
