You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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