when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
