we have pet lesbian snakes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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