There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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