he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
