im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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