I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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