WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
