On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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