Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
