i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
