Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
