You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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