Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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