how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
