He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
