I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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