Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
