you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
