If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The cops high fived after they tackled you
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
