I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
