Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize