You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
