I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
