if you like me you must not know who I am
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
