now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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