idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
