where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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