Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I cut my penus on the lid.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
