Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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