is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
