No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You were trust falling into bushes
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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