Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
