new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
