I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
