i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
