Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
