I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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