Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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