A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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