how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
