Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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