I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize