no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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