i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
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