i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
