This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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