I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
