ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
