i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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