He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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