I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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