Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
