Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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