I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
